Thanks for listening last week. Wow it felt good to get all that out. I must say, once I hit the post button I feel like a wave of relief washed over me.
Your words of understanding were SO appreciated and I must admit that some of them caused me to shed a tear or two. The wedding maze is just that: a big maze filled with dead ends but with a path to the finish line that's been traveled before. It felt so good to know that: DUH, ther are many who have done this and survived!
Otis and I have moved our wedding date up. I think at this point we want to just get on with it, so we're getting hitched here in Philly at the end of May.
This means I have to buckle in and get on with the planning.
We still have lots of loose ends to tie down...but I see "it." The light, it's there at the end of the tunnel and our day will be unique and very us. I'm so excited!
But what I'm most excited about is being Otis' wife, and with all the craziness that comes with planning a celebration, I keep meditating on what the end result is: A union of two people very much in love and very excited to keep enjoying our life together.
Spring...and all the goodness it will bring is very very close.
This whole wedding “thing.” Yeah. It’s not so much my game.
I was never the girl to secretly buy the bridal magazines, dream
about walking down the aisle, wonder about what would happen on my big
day. It just wasn’t on my radar.
Since the moment I said “yes” this ride that Otis and I have been on
has been a wild one. We thought we had it all figured out. We didn’t.
We were going to be bold, be different, march to our own drummer!
I’ve been doing lots of thinking, analyzing, assessing of our plans, which have changed about a million trillion different times. Lately, I feel like I have ADD.
Too formal, too casual, too barren, too expensive, too impersonal, too scary, too far away, too inconvenient…. how will people react?
Not: what do WE want?
Why are we fighting about paper plates? We’ve never fought before…
The thing that freaks me out about the whole wedding thing is how I loose MY identity. I’m now a bride. Where did ME go?
How we lost our identity…MB, Otis. Us.
Instead of being a couple, we have turned into the “wedding planners”
Hey! How are you?! How is the wedding planning coming? Get everything all figured out? What colors, what invitations, what food, what music, what photographer
Don’t you have to wear white? Don’t you need a fancy dinner? Don’t you want stiff formal flowers? Don’t you need a big bowed cake? Don’t you need bridesmaids? Maid of honors? Best men?
Are you loosing weight? Whitening your teeth? Going on a diet? Going on a honeymoon? Going to register? When when when how how how how. How much?
It’s okay to splurge just a little…. it’s YOUR day after all.
Is it really ok? Is it really necessary? what for?
But I feel like there is a huge machine working against me. Conform, it says. It’s easier this way. Don’t think too hard, don’t veer off track. Spend your money, do what you have “dreamed” of always doing. Fulfill the fantasy. Fulfill your duty.
The problem: I never had a fantasy about this whole event to begin with. Never.
My duty is to marry Otis in a way that I feel comfortable with. A $50,000 party won’t make me feel better about that decision. I already feel great about it.
But the planning continues…blue, yellow, beef, wine, cocktails, daisies, rock n roll, paper, cloth, boylans, terracotta. Garden, river, trolley, brick, tent, dress, flower, shoes…
I'm just trying to stay above water and stick to my guns. This river has a fast current.
update: Find out more about where and why the photo was taken on my flickr page: here.
Still relishing in the many fantastic moments from this weekend that I got to spend with two very,very old friends Jessie and Andy from my hometown. Not that their old...but, you know...we've been friends for a while.
we had a great time trolling the haunts in south Philly and just taking in the city. I love weekends like that.
Plus they brought down their pup, Bagel, which was an added bonus.
Speaking of friends...here is a stuffie that I made for my friend Leslie for her birthday. I think it's going to be her year.
Hope everyone is enjoying the start of their week as much as I am.
My boss at work was headed to a bigtime, shmancy tv conference with her spankin' new iphone. Sadly she was keeping it protected in a HUGE microfiber bag. UGH! it was embarassing.
So I whipped her up an iphone case to keep it safe and sound. This fabric is made of cork. It's soooo cool and made from a sample that I picked up somewhere.
(Isn't it great when you have a boss who has a rock garden in her office?)
Ooooohhhh. sparklies. distraction.
(PS- Here is my newly set ring! sometimes I just catch myself staring.)
The wedding planning is going along swimmingly. I have relied heavily on many of the GREAT wedding blogs out there. To top it all off, a copy of DIY Bride landed on my desk the first week of my engagement which just ROCKS.
If you're gettin' hitched...check out some of these cool sites!